A Grooms Survival Guide For Wedding Planning

A wedding ceremony serves as the most significant event in the lives of a couple. It stands as a life beacon from which all-future events flow.  The actual wedding day consumes all available energy from family  members. Events spiral toward the wedding magnetically drawing all toward the core ceremony much as a black hole consumes all light. It is however, a day of bliss, of joy and happiness matched only by the Honeymoon in the eyes of the Bride and Groom. That is how it should be, that is how it is.   

This is also, where a professional Wedding Planner helps by taking over the stressful parts of planning, coordination, and simplifies, eases demands on the wedding party. This support provides assurance to the Bride and Groom with hope of enjoying their special day.  

A Groom’s Survival Planning Guide recognizes that a wedding can be a major cause of concern, worry, and frustration. Even if engaging the services of a professional Wedding Planner is not possible, other ways exist to help you move through the maze. It seems as if there are thousands of details to handle and only you to do it.  

Advice for the Groom  

The very first thing you need to do after your Bride to be said yes is to assure wedding planning is in some hands other than yours or your Bride. You really need to make sure that happens. If not, the days leading up to the vows will not be nearly as much fun as you expected.  

As a Groom, much of the planning details go right over your head as points of interest. However, you know that your survival depends on it at least appearing that it does. If your Bride thinks, some detail about the flower arrangement is important that is good enough for you. If she is happy, you are happy.  

Let’s face it you want to get married and are willing to go through all the legal requirements to make this woman your wife. In large part, the rest of the trappings could by all accounts disappear, if they would. That will not happen because a Bride lives for all the other things that make her wedding special, perfect. In large part, it is one of the differences between a Groom and a Bride.  

Remember, the secret to sanity is simple make sure your Bride or her family find a qualified person to handle the wedding plans and details.  It is important you meet with this person without your Bride early in the process for a number of reasons.  The solo meeting is not an attempt for a covert operation, it is your effort for the planner to hear, see you.  If you noticed in the first joint meeting, all attention goes to the bride.  If you offer a comment, a nod might come your way but the acknowledgment goes to the bride.  The reason is simple.  In most cases, the bride or family engages the planner and they want the bride to be happy.  Rest assured they want you both to be happy but they really want the bride to be happy. 

Your goal in this meeting is to win him/her over as you emphasize that you have total faith and trust in them to make your wedding a wonderful success. Secondly, if that meeting goes well make sure you call the planner at least every week no more than two weeks, stressing that you want to any issues developing or potential problems foreseen.  

Maintaining this contact with your planner will keep you effectively informed on the plans that are important to the success of the wedding. The result is you are involved without actually being involved; you will be knowledgeable of the wedding plans. When bridal discussions arise at dinners shared with parents, or soon to be, in-laws you will actually appear involved with the planning. These discussions will come all too often.  

The benefit to you is you have control or at least input into the wedding planning process such that keeping your golf game, fishing trips and travel plans intact can happen.  Also sometimes in the process expect your Bride to ask you about what you are doing talking with the planner. This is the chance to make golden points. Your involvement indicates that you are actively involved to assure a success of this wedding.  Additionally, you become a hero to the one that means the most to you. 

As the Groom, you must understand that the global nature of weddings falling into three categories as listed below. You have options but must pay attention on how the playing field changes depending of circumstances.  

Weddings viewed from experience fall into three types:   

The Grand Affair  

The first is the big, grand, formal, large event affair as briefly described above is most often pictured when we think of a wedding. It is the best, the top, maybe the lasting event. You already know how to work this process to the benefit of all including yourself.  

The Intimate Affair  

The second type is a wedding planned as a smaller, more intimate event and surroundings, attended by only close friends and family. This type wedding has less draining effect on family and friends but showers as much blessing, hope, and joy as a more formal wedding. Some aspects of a smaller wedding allow intimacy between the wedding party, attendees, Bride, and Groom, due to their personal relationships.   

This one is not nearly as damaging to your lifestyle prior to the marriage as the formal event. Depending on the Bride’s family and yours it might not be necessary to hire a Wedding Planner but if things are not going right push for that. Again, with the professional in place your job is easier.   

Some Brides love to plan all aspects of the wedding, making assignments for what happens and in fact becomes the wedding planner. This is a tough one. You will get your assignments and do not screw the assignment up. That usually means you no longer have an agenda, you must keep the planner’s agenda in this case the Brides. Failing on something before the wedding is just not good form.   

Try to enlist someone to help the Bride, as it will allow moments of sanity, which become all too scarce as the wedding draws near. She may not realize it but the help will be a lifesaver for her and for you.  

The Practical Affair  

The third wedding type often characterized as the “Vegas” wedding takes place with the Bride and Groom and only one or two witnesses in attendance. This last wedding type is the least costly, the least impact on family and friends, and the one that has less financial drain on the marrying couples impending life together.  It is just as wonderful as the two previous types, memories just as lasting and hopes not diminished in any fashion.   

This one is just easy. Your job is to plan the honeymoon and that might include a round of Golf. Well, maybe not but that is the idea. Usually no help needed here. You also have more money to spend on the honeymoon and maybe to get that new car.  

What about Real Wedding Planners?  

So, not being a professional wedding planner, what would I recommend for the aspiring Bride and Groom?   

If this is the first wedding for either party,

If they can afford the expense related to a large wedding:

If the families can endure the stress that comes with planning and execution:

If they can find a place for the ceremony that meets their requirement and have long enough lead-time:

Hire a professional Wedding Planner.  

Go for the big, once in a lifetime wedding. There will never be another event quite like this one no matter what surprises life brings down the road. The doorway to all follows.  Just do not mortgage your future with wedding expenses you cannot afford.  

The other two are where I find my personal heart revolving since the focus is more on the individuals and their lives than pomp and ceremony. These more intimate events focus on the two not the many.   

Putting those thoughts asides there are many places to find Real Wedding Planners. It is after all a major source of business revenue for many and billions of dollars in annual business. The service provided is real, beneficial, and supportive of a total wedding package. However, you can normally select how much, how far and what you want from your Wedding Planner to help with your budget.  

Other Choices  

If your head is spinning and you feel the need to punt, don’t. There are alternatives, there are many books providing help in planning a wedding event without a Professional Wedding Planner. Help in planning a wedding directed toward controlling expense is available from various sources presenting the information in a planning guide format.   

Remember; always place the planning responsibility on someone other than you or your Bride to be. Pick a friend, an acquaintance, possibly a relative but from your brides side of the family. That choice becomes clear when resolving details.  

Regardless of the path, you choose to follow in making your Wedding the best possible ceremony it will be a wonderful occasion.  

Have a long, happy life together on the path chosen to begin the journey.